I'm apart of a large and ever-growing group of people who has had to downsize for a parent who, over the years, didn't pare down or separate the meaningful and useful things from the clutter.
Almost a year ago, my sisters and I processed and cleared everything from my Dad's home (my mom died several years earlier). I wrote a bit about it here.
I was lucky I could share the responsibility with my other siblings. It made the job less overwhelming and easier to execute with some amount of grace. But a job of this nature still takes a toll, emotionally, physically and financially.
Above: My Mom's beautiful collection of tea cups found a good home. They went to Beaverbrook House, a historic home in Miramichi that holds tea services open to the public.
It can require long plane flights, taking time off work without pay and leaving behind a family to cope in your absence.
And if you and your siblings are not on the same page downsizing a parent can be rot tension and arguments.
All that plus the actual physical labour involved. And on top of that people are often tackling this responsibility in the midst of grieving. It's a lot!
Above: We sorted through all of Mom's artwork and sketches.
Above: What we didn't keep for ourselves, my sister framed with old frames found around the house and we added them to the items for sale. It feels good knowing Mom's art will be hanging in so many homes.
I've read about cases where people pull up a dumpster and get rid of stuff that way. But that wasn't for us. We worked hard to deal with Dad's belongings respectfully and thoughtfully.
We separated the meaningful stuff from the clutter. We doled out heirlooms diplomatically and sensitively, and found good homes for other items. We advertised and held a moving sale. What didn't sell we donated to worthy causes. What was left went in the garbage.
It took 5 weeks in total, working day and night. And we managed to do it gracefully, without tension or arguments.
Above: We polished up the furniture and staged the house for the sale, which took place over two days.
Above: My sister was full of clever ideas. One of them was to bundle the towels and facecloths rather than sell them individually. She was right! They were snatched up quickly.
If you've ever gone through this experience you become acutely aware of something: this is what's in store for your children or next of kin. You feel a strong resolve to not heap upon them a similar burden.
That’s why we shouldn’t wait. We should clear our clutter and lighten our load now.
If we spend the first 40 years of our lives accumulating and collecting, it seems to me we should spend the next 40 years letting go.
